I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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