My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
