I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
