I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
