guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
