My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
