Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
