do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
