You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize