yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
