Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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