found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
