Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
