I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Iām not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
