This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
