Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
