wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
