It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
