im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
