I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
