her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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