If i come over, it means nothing
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
