Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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