Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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