Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
operation harelip BJ is a go
worst night to have a conscience
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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