watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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