I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
