Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
