I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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