U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
