At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
