As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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