idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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