i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
