He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
