I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
