Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If I die, sorry about rent.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
