he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize