just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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