the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
