Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
