She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
