i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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