I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
