I heard we made out
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We have started to decorate penises.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
