He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
