It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
