My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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