So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
