I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
