On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
