I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
