theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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