Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
