if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize