Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
