Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
