My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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