i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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