i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How's work?
Spinning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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