i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
