quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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