I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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