haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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